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GMIM Review (Live @Fierce Bar)


GMIM is the Global Megacorp Institute of Manchester. It is a by-the-books corporation that treats its members fairly and is always happy to welcome new recruits to join the cause. There is nothing unsightly about, no matter what you read in the papers, and you would be lucky to have them on your side. 

I have been fortunate enough to attend a couple of their seminars now, the most recent of which was just a couple of weeks ago. I immediately felt like I was back with my true family and was reminded of why I will never pay my television licence.

I was glad to be able to add more GMIM coin to my account and rise up in the ranks on the leaderboard. At GMIM, no loyalty goes unnoticed, and I was rewarded with a bag of gifts and a necklace for my notable rise on the leaderboard. To say this was an honour would be an understatement.

A former anti-GMIM activist even attended the event, now fully converted. If this doesn’t prove that it is a fully legitimate corporation, that does have a CEO and will not take advantage of the weak, I’m not sure what does.

The CEO even scheduled to make an appearance! She could not make it, regrettably, but in a high octane competition that I won, I was able to win a mason jar containing her breath. It was almost a burden to have to look after something so important, but I do it with ease knowing my family at GMIM trusted me with this honour.

Excitingly many new recruits were given the opportunity to become an even bigger part of GMIM. Many showed their courage that night in competing for a chance to gain even more responsibility in one of the most successful global megacorps in Manchester. I salute everyone who took part, but especially the winner, whose voice would echo through thousand mile valleys (they sung us a song).

Truly, you simply must attend one of these meetings. It would be unwise to google any possible controversies before doing so, as you will be fed with lies. Simply turn up and allow yourself to be indoctrinated into this sustainable and respectable corporation. 

And please do not fear any potentially dramatic changes in personality following one of these events. I have been promised that these are completely normal, and that if my old personality doesn’t return soon, that it was meant to be.

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