Before the dawn of man, there were big, frightening dinosaurs everywhere. This was a time before culture. There was no Goethe, no Proust, no My Heads. There were only big dinosaurs, and deserts and all boring shit like that. But right on the fringes of society (dinosaur society, presumably) there was a tiny little shack with an excellent soundsystem and a fridge full of Red Stripe.
This was (supposedly) the dawn of Quarry. Scholars have said that the gigs around this time were far less densely packed than what you’d see today. Rarely would they hit capacity, as there really weren’t that many people around. Other than this, it was almost identical, strangely.
There were still noise gigs and drag nights. The smoking area did not look quite how it does today, but this was simply because they had done the fundraiser yet. They would have to wait a few million years for the internet to become more readily available for this to happen. There were a few other surprising things you wouldn’t catch today though.
Fossils have shown that there was once a time in which the entire venue was trodden on by some big fucking dinosaur. Sorting it out was an absolute nightmare. The council were a pain in the arse to get hold of, as is still an issue today, and the noise complaints were through the roof due to the screaming of those that perished.
It’s widely believed the only reason the venue managed to find its feet again was due to the arrival of neolithic man. This gave way to many new opportunities for Quarry. Bands with opposable thumbs revolutionised the game, with only a few die-hards not liking the approach (it has been likened to Bob Dylan going electric).
The gigs usually involved bands with torn up, primal clothing grunting and smashing together bones and homemade tools, with a sound that was barely discernible from improvised noise. The incredible thing is, gigs like these are still fairly common at Quarry, and chances are you’ve seen one like this yourself.
Another huge problem for Quarry was, of course, the meteor. It devastated almost the whole planet and saw the extinction of the dinosaurs, which is mad to say it was just some fucking rock. Fortunately, the meteor only obliterated the majority of the planet, and the blast radius narrowly avoided Quarry, which saved them a lot of money. It did leave a lack of clientele for some time though.
It was around this time that the initial plans for merch and the blog you’re currently reading came about, however those plans were only really finalised more recently. You can buy the Quarry merch now for a very reasonable price, and the music blog is free! Shocking that such important investigative journalism won’t cost you a penny, when you think about it.
Many other things that happened in this time period almost seem to be unrelated to the era. Quarry briefly started serving piss instead of lager. A band was unjustly cancelled for inventing a new slur by accident (it is now considered that ‘coffee’ is a drink, not a slur, and they were given their platform back). The country of China was also invented by Quarry, although they soon lost complete citizenship and the country was relinquished and rediscovered a few years later. Loads of cool stuff happened!
Do you know any other cool facts about Quarry from before the dawn of man? Please, tell Aidan on the bar your fact! If you tell him a really cool one, he’ll ride you around the venue like a horse until you break your back and die.